Systems & Techniques Archives | Page 3 of 22

Help, my kids don’t want my stuff! It’s time to downsize and purge…

by Filed Under: Organize, Systems & Techniques, Tips & Resources, Uncategorized, Wellness & Mindset 3 Comments

HELP, I don’t want my parents stuff!

It can be an emotionally exhausting taking the time to downsize and purge a a lifetime of stuff. The process can trigger all kinds of family “issues”. How do you decide what to keep when it comes time to downsize and purge years worth of household items?

The recently published book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning is onto something when it comes to taking the time to downsize. It’s become quite a popular book, partially because it’s such a darkly humerous title but mainly because there is a large generation of people in the process of downsizing right now and mostly, their kids and grand kids don’t wan their stuff! So, whether the time to downsize comes when the family is all still alive or after a death, it’s really never too early to start talking about this subject. I hate to even bring it up but the fact is that we will all die. All of the “things” associated with YOU and what you are passionate about in your life are a part of your legacy! Lets talk a minute about our personal and family legacies.

We can’t take our stuff with us…what we leave behind is part of our legacy.

Have you ever thought about what your legacy is? What have you enjoyed or done throughout your life that others might value or remember about you?

Did you write in a journal, keep scrapbooks or take photo’s?

Do you collect something special to you (I personally collect things with a “Bee theme” but try not to over do it)?

Do you make something (quilts, knit or crochet)?

Do you Garden or Cook and keep records of these hobbies?

Were you recognized for significant accomplishments in your career?

Did you invent something?

Were you an avid reader?

You might want to ask yourself and your family members some of these questions before it comes time to decide what to keep or get rid of. It may not be an easy conversation, but not talking about it could cause more pain, try to keep it lighthearted and fun.

Talk with your parents, grandparents or other family members about what they were passionate about in their life.

Record your family stories to share with future generations and keep a handful of meaningful items that help you remember and honor their legacy.

These conversations will help with future decision making. Let your family know if you are or are or are not interested in what they leave behind (have a plan if you can!). We all want our loved ones to remember us and for some people having things around that remind us of them is a wonderful tribute. There will also be family and friends who will choose to honor and remember their loved ones without stuff! Maybe they have vivid or photographic memories of events and feel linked to that person through other means (spiritual, oral or written history). Guilt is the enemy, our stuff should by no means be a tool to make someone feel guilty…If your loved one’s don’t want your things, don’t feel hurt!

If there are things you want someone to have, tell them about it and tell them why. Just telling your story (via a letter, video, voice recording or conversation) may be enough! Be ready to release your attachment to the outcome, whether things are wanted or not. Ask them if they want things, but let them know they should not feel bad if they don’t want to keep it. You may also want to find a group or organization who you know would love a donation and leave part of your estate in your will.

When it comes time to downsize and purge your family will not want everything, it’s not a reflection how they feel about you! There are so many people who are really in need or love collecting, if your family isn’t that someone it’s okay. Here’s little advice from the Marie Kondo book, ‘Spark Joy‘ say goodbye to your things and thank them for the joy they gave you…then let go and be at peace with the decision. This can be a helpful practice for family members to be able to release things from their loved ones!

Say goodbye with gratitude on behalf the joy that “stuff” brought to your family member.

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Hoarding Habits as we age…

by Filed Under: Organize, Organizing Projects, Systems & Techniques

A little more than a week ago our local chapter of NAPO had a local mental health counselor come and speak with our members about helping clients with hoarding habits. Clients with Hoarding Habits are not my typical clientele…but there are several circumstances that I knew the client was on a deadline and the family was in a tight spot. Under the right circumstances I’ve helped quite a few clients with hoarding habits.

Hoarding was first discovered and labeled as such in 1947 in NYC when two brothers were found diseased under a pile of stuff in their home. Today it is estimated that over 3 million people suffer from “hoarding” and many go without treatment or diagnosis. This is not a disorder people are born with.

This project began with an intervention…this was the first time I was asked to be a part of an intervention. I had not yet met the client and was not involved in the decision to begin this way. The family took the approach they felt was best and there was a lot at stake and not much time to act. This client was a senior living in a senior facility…they knew she was a bit of a “pack rat” but the problem had escalated to put her health and safety in jeopardy. This is not unusual for clients with hoarding habits, especially senniors and I’ve since worked with several other seniors under extreme health and safety circumstances, I felt compelled to help with the support of the family. Each circumstance is different and I believe that though family, friends and professional organizers can help to a certain extent, mental health professionals are the most important tool for helping clients with hoarding habits.

Common circumstances or signs of (seniors or others) hoarding habits include:

Hazardous or risky living conditions including loss of power, running water, old/expired/moldy food, human or animal waste or bug infestations.
A tenancy to dis-associate with the problem, including assigning blame to others, making excuses for their behavior or justifying their behavior as “normal”.
“Save it” mentality (but not necessarily the critical thinking to know what’s valuable and what’s not).
Denial of any problem or in-ability identify problems.
Anger or agressiveness towards people who attempt to help them get rid of items they do not need.
Obsessive or compulsive tenancies (there are some different opinions regarding hoarding and OCD).
Depression or anxiety (this can be another sign but isn’t in and of itself a trigger)
Poor coping skills and lack of emotional regulation.
Excessive collecting of a variety of items that there is no rhyme or reason to (dolls, bottles, foil, containers, other collectibles etc)…not all collecting is hoarding!

I’m not a psychiatrist or counselor and I do not make a diagnosis of a hoarding disorder, but I can still understand behavior patterns that are warning signs that can lead to hoarding. Most importantly, I can be there to help support my clients in the process of learning to make healthy choices, recognizing their repeated behavior patterns and seeking the help of their family (if they are willing), mental health professionals and others who can support them as they try to heal and unpack their behavior.

Both this and other clients I’ve worked with had no choice once confronted with the family and director of the facility. It’s not uncommon when hoarding habits get severe that these individuals or families facing losing their home if they don’t get help. This is never an ideal situation and I wish for their sake it had not come to this.

When I work with clients with hoarding habits I am compassionate while maintaining healthy boundaries and am clear that “clutter” can not be allowed back into the home. Maintaining this is something that should be done with the help of mental health professional who will know the triggers and signs of relapse.

With this project, the client was getting a total apartment renovation with new floors, new paint, appliances and some new furniture. We (the family and I) remain positive and tried to make the experience as stress free as possible while keeping physical and mental challenges in mind. Working with seniors requires awareness of health conditions and they may tire more easily and have significant physical limitations. Below are photo’s of before, during and after of this small studio apartment.

Above is the main living area before we began. The center and perimeters of the room were stacked with furnishings and boxes (of mostly papers and junk). There were furnishings obstructing the main pathway and the closet was inaccessible. Her newly renovated apartment has open floors, much less furniture and is clean and freshly painted.

Bathroom and entry hallway. In the before photo’s you can see that the path was obstructed with furniture and clutter. This is a safety (trip) and fire hazard and one of the key things to look for in determining if someone has hoarding tenancies. The bathroom was almost completely unusable with boxes and clothing piled up in the shower and on top of the toilet. I’m not sure how this woman used her own facilities, perhaps she didn’t and used the public restroom but this is not a healthy or safe environment for anyone, much less a senior.

Finally the pictures above show the main living area looking into the kitchen. The floors had various rugs that were big trip hazards and the clutter was obstructing half of the kitchen. The bottom left photo shows a small portion of the trash that we hauled out on day two and the bottom right shows the clean and renovated kitchen with new appliances.

This project was finished in three days and I did some of the work on my own but also had the help of the family. It was important for me to establish trust with the client before the family worked with us. By them getting involved with the project hands on, they were able to better understand where they may need to monitor and help maintain hoarding habits in the future.

The follow through on their part will be critical in helping this client maintain this new, healthier environment. As is usually the case, the client was not overly thrilled with having to let go of many of her belongings but in the end we kept everything she was most attached to (of both practical and sentimental value).

If you suspect that a family member is living in unhealthy hoarding conditions consider speaking with a professional (psychiatrist, psychologist or counselor with hoarding experience) before taking steps to intervene. Much of the time can be relapse, which can be frustrating for everyone but in some cases the immediate health and safety needs have to come first.

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Don’t PANIC-PREPARE for natural disasters

by Filed Under: Organize, Systems & Techniques, Tips & Resources 1 Comment

No matter where you live, it’s practically impossible to ignore and vital to prepare for natural disasters! With the change in our climate, especially for those of us who live along the coastlines, it pays to get organized, ‘Just in Case’ there’s a natural disaster!

On cue for Hurricane season, it’s time to Prepare for natural disasters.

Do you have a plan in place, know your evacuation route, have supplies ready?

[Read more…]

Off to College Essential Organizing Tips

by Filed Under: Kids & Family Organizing, Organize, Productivity, Systems & Techniques, Tips & Resources 1 Comment

It might seem a bit to share Off to College Essential Organizing Tips but there are still lots of folks planning, shopping and packing for their dorms. Whether you are happy, sad or have mixed emotions about the upcoming send off to college, these Essential Organizing tips will help you get a handle on planning for this life-changing event! This milestone is really two big events in one, a move and back to school. If you’re feeling overwhelmed already, break it down into smaller manageable tasks and be mindful of your emotions! It’s a big change (for your whole family) so don’t dismiss how you feel!

Productivity, Routines and Schedules

By now you should probably have the school year calendar and have a target date for college move in all squared away but if not there’s still time to get a handle on it. Here are some of the categories related to routines and schedules that may help make this a more mindful transition to managing college/life schedules and productivity.

Transportation-Will a car be available or will is it going to be transportation by bus or college shuttle? Is there a metro or other public transportation in their new city? Be sure to understand the best method of transportation and if cars are allowed on campus (not the case for many freshmen). Work out travel transportation arrangements ahead of time for upcoming school drop off, pick up and holidays (through the end of the year). This might include airfare so book ahead and know the rules and download any useful local aps for mass transit.
Planner or Calendar-Decide how to keep track of calendars so that everything needed is in one place, based on what works. Use either a digital or paper planner (there is a big trend to return to paper!) to keep track of important dates, orientation, move in, class schedule (and locations on campus), appointments, projects, finals and holidays. Consider something like a whiteboard (in the dorm/room) to track schedules while adjusting to this new way of life. If possible, do this ahead of time before heading off to school where the tendency will be to get caught up in the excitement of new campus life! Planners are only helpful if they are with you so keep it where it’s needed (in a backpack or purse etc).
Activities, sports and clubs-If your college students are planning to get involved in sports, clubs etc…get these activities booked on your master calendar along with the school schedule and decide on any necessary transportation. Cross reference these activities (especially intense sport/practice/games) with school schedule and keep it all in one place. It’s great to get involved, but be sure there’s a sense of balance between school work, activities and “play” or free time to be with friends, socialize, relax etc.
Productivity, routines and study time–Talk with them about to do lists and schedule planning (daily, weekly or monthly) so they will stay on top of important tasks, projects, classes and dates. Remind them of what routines and systems have worked for them so far and help them set up systems for successful focus on study while they are away. This will be different from situation to situation but consistency is key, especially simple things like waking up at the same time daily, making your bed, weekly shopping & laundry etc. When it comes to studying, if your kid is extra distracted by other people being around, help they seek out a quiet place on campus or in their dorm that they will be able to focus. Help them create their own rules, like pick up daily (5 min’s/day), keep your desk clean, empty/repack your backpack daily so you have what you need ready the next day. Have a plan for note taking, setting up binders and folders by class (color code etc) or other systems that have been successful for them so far. Find a routine for self discipline, this means getting 6-8hrs of sleep a night, eating regularly, taking necessary medications, self regulating screen time (games, apps etc) and generally acting like an adult! All the freedom is fun but when things spiral out of control have a plan to get back on track. Most of us thrive with routines and it’s even more important in transitions to implement them for our own success:)

Supplies and Shopping

This is always a big part of school preparation. If you need to order equipment, uniforms, supplies, books etc you may already been in the process of doing so. If your state (or the one the college is in) has a Tax Free Weekend (usually in August), plan accordingly so you can make major purchases over that weekend.

Supplies-Create a master list based upon all the supplies needed. “Shop” your house first, gathering anything on the list into one container (box or bag).
Budget-set a limit (realistic) on what you can and will spend so you don’t get sucked into extras.
Categorize-Break the shopping items into categories (see below). E.X. categories might include books, school/desk supplies, clothing, dorm room, meals, electronic’s etc.
Shopping-Do a little preliminary research online and either make the purchases online or decide where you will go for what.

A-Z Dorm Essentials for Cleaning and Organizing

These are great resources to have on hand and will be helpful for a variety of uses in the dorm. I’ve created an Amazon Shopping list with suggested items here.

Backpack or bag
Bedside Caddy
Bed Risers (optional)
Command Hooks (a variety of sizes)
Drawer organizers (assorted sizes)
Hangers (check to see if you need to bring them)
Labels (a label maker or write on labels)
Laundry supplies (basket/bag, detergent
Over the door shoe organizer
Overnight bag
Permanent markers
Power Strip-surge protector
Small rolling Cart (with shelves or drawers)
Shelf &/or drawer dividers
Toiletry or shower caddy
Trash & recycling bins/bags (so many people don’t have them!)
Under bed storage bins (will fit with bed risers-wait if you don’t know)
Zip bags in assorted sizes
Zip ties (assorted sizes for cables, hanging items etc)

ABC’s of Dorm Packing Essentials

There are a ton of great resources and lists over on Pinterest, so I won’t recreate them but here are general packing categories. It’s best to wait on things like a mini-fridge, microwave, dishes (other than a cup/mug, plate and one set of silverware), Iron/Board (unless fashion is your thing!), vaccum (maybe a dustbuster and mini broom), TV and Printer. These are all things that others or the school will have. Besides, you might not need at all or you can get them later.

Bathroom-Toiletries
Cleaning Supplies
Clothing
Cooking & Dining Supplies
Desk Supplies
Dorm Room
Food
First Aid Kit
Electronics
Furniture & Decorations
Medications (Supplements, cold & Rx)
Personal Items
School Supplies
Sports Equipment

This is a lot of info in one place! I hope these Off to College Essential Organizing Tips will help prepare for schedule and lifestyle changes, supplies and shopping and finally packing before this next grand adventure begins!

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Back to School Prep | Toss & Tidy Up

by Filed Under: Kids & Family Organizing, Organize, Organizing Projects, Systems & Techniques, Tips & Resources Leave a Comment

It’s time for back to School prep and it’s a great to toss and tidy up before the school year begins. They’ve had a fun summer filled with play, maybe some camps projects and book reading assignments. I’m sure everyone is excited to be headed back to school, some more than others and before you head out to shop for supplies, lets get toys, rooms and supplies you already have in order first.

Did those notebooks, textbooks and book bags languishing in the closet, play room, kitchen or their bedrooms? If so, you never know what you might find growing by now, arm yourself if necessary!

This should take no more than 30 min’s for most grade and high school kids and I recommend doing it within the first week of school ending but if it didn’t happen at the end of school, it’s a great way to help get in the mindset for back to school now! Have them gather their book bag/backpack, any supplies and textbooks in their room or anywhere else they study. Put them all in a pile, on the floor, their bed (lots of kids like to work on their bed-it’s comforting) or a table/desk.

Back to School Prep | Pitch It

Remove the contents of bags and backpacks (if you didn’t do this at the beginning of the summer). Evaluate the condition of the bag and reusable supplies.
Go through notebooks and remove anything that you or your kids want to keep (for sentimental reasons or other), add these to a sentimental box (each child should have their own, separate from the parents).
Recycle papers, notes and notebooks no longer needed.
Gather books to return to the school, hand down to younger kids or donate to a library.
Save supplies that can be re-used in one area and before you shop for back to school, check here first!

Back to School Prep | Supplies

Shop school supplies you have on hand before you head to the store. It might not feel as exciting, but with younger kids you can create a “store” and offer to exchange some kind of reward for items “purchased” at home. This will help teach and reinforce the value of reuse and recycling. As kids get older, I find most of them are pretty keenly aware and want to re-use/not waste materials!

Shelves, cabinets, closets and basket systems, all work great depending on your space and needs. Just be sure it’s easy for you and your kids to get to. If they are older, they may want to keep some of their favorite supplies in their room, otherwise they can all go in one place.

Back to School Prep | Toys

This might not be something a lot of parents think about at back to school time but games, toys and crafts can collect and then languish in the lost corners once school begins. So it’s really the perfect time to asses what toys and games your kids are still using and donate what they have out grown. Craft and art projects can be stored in sentimental bins or just snap a photo (which you can always print later) and let it go! Keep only their favorites and rotate what is kept out because there won’t be as much time for games and toys.