Confession time~I’m very guilty of not being good at saying no, just ask ANYONE who knows me (and some that don’t even know me well)…Guilty as charged! How do you spell NO? Especially when Yes can seems so much more fun!
Some people have a hard time saying no because they feel obligated or guilty. It’s helpful to pause when someone asks you to help with something and pay attention to what your gut/intuition is telling you. When I feel my shoulders start to slump or my gut start to rumble I know it’s time to back off. Are others being pushy, do people come to you because they have had past success suckering you into saying yes? If so then you may need to be on guard from the beginning!
Honestly though, my problem is that I just want to be involved in sooo many things…especially being new to my city.
Saying NO is a critical part of setting boundaries and creating priorities. Even when you feel like you are pretty good at doing this, you can always get better or take the time to check in with yourself before you say yes. Some people wait a few hours, sleep on it etc. Saying yes may be a set up for an all out attack against your most valued asset, your time!
Ultimately it comes down to making choices that are in alignment with your goals and dreams!
Learn to say NO so you can spend more time on the things you want to say YES to!
- Resist temptations-Unsubscribe from emails or just delete them and if you are going through a particularly busy period let your friends and family know you can’t take anything else on right now.
- Delegate, assign and let go of control in a kind but firm manner. Be appreciative that someone thinks enough of you to ask for your help but you might not be the right person.
- Understand your boundaries-Don’t get caught on the spot and feel you have have an answer right away. It’s okay to say ‘Maybe I need to think about it’-defer decision making until you it feel right about it.
- STOP and Focus on the big picture-is what you are about to agree to really in alignment with your big goals and will it make you happy?
- Empathize and try to help find the right person or solution for the job when it’s not you (this goes back to delegating and deferring).
- Practice, practice, practice saying no.
I believe in the power of SAYING YES, to the opportunities that are out there, to the universe, to new friends, to learning, trying new things, even things that make us uncomfortable and to helping others. This is why I say yes-because I’m a passionate, caring and helpful person-not out of obligation, guilt or shame. We will talk about the power and wellness behind saying yes another time.